When I'm Gone
by aca-bechloe47
Summary: "When I'm gone, When I'm gone, you're gunna miss me when I'm gone." These words have never rang more true for one red head. (TW Major Character Death) Bechloe/Depressy stuff


**A/N Hey so this is a super sad one. I've been in a weird state emotionally lately and wanted to put it to use and for some reason this is what came of it. TW Mention of Main Character Death! **

**Song used: The Cup Song (When I'm Gone) By Anna Kendrick**

**When I'm Gone**

Chloe woke to the sun shining in her eyes. Rolling over she tried to hold on to sleep as long as possible. She couldn't help but smile as she felt a soft kiss pressed into the top of her head.

"Time to be awake." The smooth voice of her wife, Beca, explained. "It's a big day."

"5 more minutes." Chloe mumbled as she snuggled into Beca's side. This caused the brunette to laugh.

"Chlo, it's time to get up. We gotta get ready." Beca explained as she snuck her arm around the red head. "Plus, we gota get Ella up and ready."

Chloe sighed heavily. "Fine."

She opened her eyes and smiled at the women next to her. "Hey beautiful."

"Hi love." Beca smiled back. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes," Chloe smiled. "I had you next to me the whole time. Of course I did."

"I'm glad." Beca and Chloe sat up. "Go take your shower. Ella will be awake soon."

"Do we really have to go?" Chloe asked with a hint of sadness in her voice.

"I'm sorry love, but yes. It's important." Beca kissed the top of Chloe's head again. "Hurry up and get into that shower."

"Yes, ma'am." Chloe smirked and got out of bed. She headed straight for the shower.

The shower was nice and hot. She felt much more relaxed then before. However the thought of what lay ahead was enough to bring Chloe to tears. She soon found herself crying on her bed.

"Shh." Beca pulled her into a hug. "It's going to be okay. You're going to be okay. Get it out, love."

Chloe sank into the embrace and allowed the tears to consume her. "I can't do this, Bec."

"Yes you can." Beca promised. "You can do this. You're so strong!"

"What if I mess up? What if I'm not strong enough and I mess Ella up? Baby, I'm so scared." Chloe couldn't bare the thought of the future. After today everything was going to be different. After today, there was no pretending anymore.

"Chlo. Chloe look at me." Beca let go of Chloe and sat so the redhead could make eye contact with her. "You are the strongest person I've ever known! That's one of the many reasons I love you. You can do this! You aren't alone either. So many people will be standing by your side."

"I love you, Beca." Chloe whispered as she looked down at their joined hands. Just then Chloe could hear Ella begin to cry in the next room. "I'll go get her."

Chloe sniffed and shook her head as if erasing all her fears and worries. She stood up and walked out of the room.

She walked into her daughters nursery. "Hey, Bug." Chloe bent down and picked up the little 1 year old. Ella looked exactly like Beca. She was Beca in every little detail, down to her smile.

"Mama." Ella cooed as she nuzzled her head into her mothers shoulder.

"How's my little Princess today?" Chloe asked as she rubbed her back in small circles. Morning snuggles were Chloe's absolute favorite with her little girl. "Should we get you changed?"

Chloe walked over to the changing table and laid the baby down. She went about the task of changing her diaper and get her cleaned up.

After that Chloe put her in her dress for the day. She smiled at the little girl. "You are so beautiful."

Chloe planted a kiss on the little girls cheek before picking her up and heading back into her room to change into her own dress.

Ella crawled and walked around the room as Chloe got ready. She slipped on a simple black dress and curled her hair, but left it laying loosely around her shoulders. She quickly did her makeup and then walked out with the little girl.

Walking into the kitchen, Chloe put the little girl into her seat and started to make breakfast.

"You look absolutely amazing." Came Beca's voice from behind her.

Chloe turned around to see Beca standing in a simple black button up and black dress pants. It was simple but hot all at the same time.

"Not so bad yourself, Mitchell." Chloe smiled.

"I have my moments." Beca smirked. "Ella looks amazing as well."

"She is your daughter." Chloe pointed out and smiled at the little girl who sat playing with her toys.

"Aubrey will be here soon," Beca explained. "I should head out soon. I'll be there when you get there."

Beca smiled at Chloe again. Chloe felt as though she was going to break down again.

"I love you." Chloe said again. She seemed to cling to the words as if her life depended on it.

"I love you more then you know," Beca kissed her forehead. "I'll see you soon."

With that Beca walked out of the room, leaving Ella and Chloe alone. Chloe felt the absence immediately and was grateful Aubrey was coming over to be with her and Ella. She was taking them to the venue and would be meeting the other Bella's there as well.

Chloe set out Ella's bowl of cheerios and juice. She sat down next to her with her own coffee and piece of toast. She really didn't have much of an appetite but knew she needed to eat something.

Not surprising to Chloe at all Aubrey just walked into the house and into the kitchen, where she found Chloe and Ella.

"Hey, how are the Mitchell girls today?" Aubrey asked as she planted a kiss on Ella's head and hugged Chloe.

"We're doing alright." Chloe explained. Aubrey studied her best friend for a moment. She could tell that HCloe was putting on a front but she didn't want to push her over the edge, especially on today of all days.

"Well, hurry on up and finish eating. We gotta get you girls downtown." Aubrey explained. She walked over to the coffee maker and poured herself a cup.

"All the girls are going to be there?" Chloe asked.

Aubrey turned and nodded her head. "I heard back from everyone. They'll all be there."

"Good. That's how Bec… That's how it should be." Chloe stated. Aubrey could hear the hurt in Chloe's tone and felt her heart break all over again.

"Should we go?" Aubrey asked not wanting to let the sad feelings linger, even though on a day like today, that was the only thing going to be felt.

"Let's do it." Chloe picked Ella up and cleaned the cheerio dust and crumbs off her dress. She kissed the little girls head and they headed out the door and into Chloe's car.

**XxwhenimgonexX**

They arrived to the small community hall. There were already quite a few cars in the parking lot. Chloe began to feel sick to her stomach. She felt her anxiety trickle in as the realization of everything hit her.

"Chloe." Aubrey put her hand on the red heads shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah…" Chloe shook her head, as if trying to break herself out of her train of thought. "Let's go."

"Chlo…" Aubrey began but was cut off by Chloe closing her car door. She opened the back and unbuckled Ella from her car-seat. Chloe seemed to hold her daughter a little closer then before.

Aubrey felt trapped. She knew that Chloe was hurting but it seemed as though the red head wouldn't allow herself to do so.

She sighed and all she could think about was how much she wished Beca was here. But if Beca had been here, none of this would be happening anyway.

**XxwhenimgonexX**

Most of the Bella's had arrived before Chloe and Aubrey. They all stood around talking to one another. Dr. Mitchell and Shelia had arrived before everyone else and were currently talking to CR. Everyone was dressed in black and there was a heavy sadness over the room.

No one knew what to do as Chloe, Ella, and Aubrey walked into the room. It seemed as though a hush came over the room at the sight of them.

Dr. Mitchell was the first to walk up to Chloe and his granddaughter. The little girl reached out of the man as she recognized him immediately as her grandpa.

"Hey, Bug." Dr. Mitchell took her and kissed her head. He pulled Chloe into a side hug. "How are you two doing?"

Chloe hugged back and just nodded her head, unsure of what to say. It was in that moment that Chloe noticed Beca standing in the corner of the room. She was smiling at the interaction and this comforted Chloe to know that Beca had kept her promise about being there for her.

Just then the rest of the Bella's came up to Chloe and pulled her into a hug one at a time. Amy was the last one to hug her.

"Hey, how are you holding up?" Amy asked her in a rare moment of seriousness.

"I'm alright." Chloe explained as she looked into Amy's eyes. Amy and Beca had always been close. They roomed together in college and they jut seemed to get along so well. There was something about Amy that just clicked with Beca.

"You let me know if you need anything." Amy pulled Chloe in again and Chloe held on a little tighter.

"Thank you, Ames." Chloe sniffed as she let go. Her eyes wandered over to where Beca had been standing before and was happy to see she was still standing there. She met Chloe's eyes and winked at her, this caused Chloe to smile again and she looked around the room at all the people she and her wife loved so much.

She looked at the time and realized that soon everyone would need to head into the seating area for the program.

Dr. Mitchell was the one that prompted everyone to go find a seat.

Many of the talks that followed were very emotional and there wasn't a dry eye in the room. Chloe had a hard time concentrating on everything as her pain began to build. She held onto Ella tightly and kissed her head.

Soon the time was turned over to Chloe for one last talk.

She stood up and handed Ella over to Dr. Mitchell. As Chloe stood infront of the microphone she looked out and met the eyes of each of the people there. She looked in the back and there was her love. She nodded at Chloe in encouragement and suddenly Chloe felt as though she could do what she needed to.

Chloe took in a deep breath and as she let it out she began to talk.

"I've loved Beca Mitchell since the moment I met her, her freshmen year of College. She was the 'too good for school' type person at the time and fought desperately to convince everyone that she didn't care. She tried to play life out like she was past the point of caring. It worked with a lot of people. But when I met her that day during the activities fair I knew there was more behind that thick makeup and as Aubrey would call them, her ear monstrosities." Chloe paused as everyone laughed. Chloe looked over at Aubrey who had tears streaming down her face. "It would take Beca and I almost four more years to admit our feelings for each other. We fought so hard to make our relationship work. But we always knew that we were meant to be. As Beca put it in her vows to me, 'We are inevitable'."

Chloe smiled at the memory of their wedding. Then she looked over at Ella, her and Beca's little miracle.

"When Beca and I decided we wanted a family, Beca was insistent that I be the one to carry the baby. She told me that she wanted a little Chloe running around. Well when we found out that the IVF wasn't working for me, I talked her into giving it a try. It only took one time." Chloe smiled as she thought back to the day Beca told her she was pregnant. "Beca cried so hard as she chocked out the words that she was pregnant. She wanted so badly to be a mother. And she was going to be."

A tear slipped from Chloe's eyes. "Ella, is Beca's pride and joy. Her everything. And she was the most amazing mother to our little girl." Chloe had to stop and she met Beca's eyes in the back of the room. Beca looked so proud of her wife and mouthed an _I love you _to the redhead. She brushed away the tears that had fallen. "It's hard to think that it's over. That you're gone."

Chloe's eyes landed on the black casket that sat infront of her. It was closed but inside lay the love of her life and the pain tried to consume the women. Chloe fought as hard as she could to overcome the wave of emotions. She had promised herself, and Beca that she wouldn't lose it. She would push through. She was strong.

"Beca sang a song at her audition for the Bella's called 'When I'm gone'. That was the song that sparked so many amazing moments with her. That was the song that would eventually bring us together and give me the future that I've had. So Beca, this is for you." Chloe put her hand on the slick wood and smiled at the women in the back of the room, who seemed to be fading away.

_"I got my ticket for the long way 'round_

_Two bottle 'a whiskey for the way_

_And I sure would like some sweet company_

_And I'm leaving tomorrow, wha-do-ya say?"_

The words flowed from Chloe's mouth as she thought back to that day. When Beca sat on the stage, directly infront of Chloe with that yellow cup. She could almost hear Beca's voice harmonizing with her own.

_"When I'm gone_

_When I'm gone_

_You're gonna miss me when I'm gone_

_You're gonna miss me by my hair_

_You're gonna miss me everywhere, oh_

_You're gonna miss me when I'm gone_

_I've got my ticket for the long way 'round_

_The one with the prettiest of views_

_It's got mountains, it's got rivers, it's got sights to give you shivers_

_But it sure would be prettier with you"_

Chloe closed her eyes as she picture Beca on their honeymoon. She was standing with the ocean behind her and grinning from ear to ear at Chloe. Or the moment that Beca lay in the hospital bed, holding onto her baby for the first time. Smiling up at Chloe with the most joy and pride, the redhead had ever seen.

_"When I'm gone_

_When I'm gone_

_You're gonna miss me when I'm gone_

_You're gonna miss me by my walk_

_You're gonna miss me by my talk, oh_

_You're gonna miss me when I'm gone…"_

Chloe opened her eyes and looked into the back of the room. As she sang the last line, Beca gave her signature smirk at her and disappeared into thin air. Chloe could hear her whisper an '_I love you more then you know, Love' _before she went.

"I love you, Bec." Chloe said, not really into the microphone but the room heard her. This was when Chloe finally allowed the emotions to hit her. The pain she had felt since the moment she got the phone call that Beca had been killed in a car crash on her way home, suddenly encompassed her. It was as though with that final word of the song she was able to let go. She was able to feel again.

Chloe didn't know how she ended up on the floor but soon Aubrey was at her side and held onto her tightly.

"Shh. I've got you." Aubrey promised as her own tears fell.

All that could be heard in the deadly silent room were sobs. The sounds echoed through the hall as the pain of losing Beca Mitchell was felt from everyone in the room.

**XxwhenimgonexX**

**Six Months Later**

Chloe and Ella stood Infront of the small granite stone. The words written on the stone read:

_Rebecca Ann Mitchell_

_September 22, 1990 – November 12, 2019_

_In loving memory of a wonderful daughter, wife, and mother _

_whose life was cut too short._

Below the words was a picture of Beca, Chloe, and Ella in a small glass frame that was incased in the tombstone.

Chloe bent down and put the flowers on the grave. Beca would have acted like she hated the yellow lilies but secretly would have loved them. Especially since they were picked by Ella.

"Hey, Bec." Chloe put Ella down and knelt down so she was looking at the stone. Ella walked up and put her hand on the picture, right where Beca was.

"Ma." Ella said with a bright smile.

"Yup, that's your ma." Chloe had made sure that Ella knew who her ma was. She told Ella stories every night about her mother and always showed her pictures. She wanted Ella to know that she was apart of the greatest person Chloe had ever known.

"Wove you ma." Ella stammered as she kissed the picture. This was enough to bring tears to the redheads eyes.

"I love you Beca." Chloe smiled as she too put her hand on the picture of the three of them.

After a few minutes of silence Chleo and Ella stood up and walked back to the car. Chloe got the little girl strapped into her seat. She closed the door and turned to take one last look at the gravestone. To her surprise, there stood Beca. She smiled at Chloe.

"Thank you for telling her about me." Beca nodded toward where Ella sat in the car.

"I wont let her forget you, Beca." Chloe promised. "We will never forget you my love."

"Chloe, go be happy." Beca smiled. "You can let me go."

Chloe shook her head at the words. "I don't think I can."

"Yes, you can." Beca promised. "Love, I will always be by your side, and I'll wait for you to join me, but that's not going to happen for a really long time. Go, make your dreams come true."

"I love you." Chloe felt the tears sting her eyes as she knew this would be the last time Beca would come to her. It would be the last time she would need such an interaction.

"I love you more then you'll ever know." Beca smiled.

Chloe took one last look at the women she knew wasn't actually there. She knew that it would be hard to move on but she also knew she would never forget Beca Mitchell. She would never love anyone as much as she loved Beca. She would never not carry Beca in her heart. And as she moved to LA, to open her own music school, she would put a picture of her wife in the main hall. She would name it the Mitchell Academy and everyone would know who made the school possible. She could do it all because Beca never got the chance to fulfill that dream of hers.

Chloe closed her eyes and heard Beca's voice ring in her ears,

_"When I'm gone_

_When I'm gone_

_You're gonna miss me when I'm gone."_


End file.
